im convinced ..

that one day, my death will be caused by a tragic car accident.

ive been in several accidents... well, three in a span of six months, the six months that have just passed. first accident was because i fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into a divider. that one was obviously my fault. the other two were at a stop/yeild sign and each dumbass driver rear ended me. i swear, people just don't know how to fuckin' drive around rutgers.

i don't know if it's anything post traumatic, because im perfectly comfortable driving... only thing is that whenever i'm on the road, i keep having these weird premonitions. i picture my car having some kind of car failure, nothing in particular, and my car ramming into another one... where my hood gets smashed in and the collision reaches my limbs, cutting them off... then eventually my face gets smashed in and life abruptly ends. everytime i drive, every one of my senses feel it. i hear the metal bending and banging, i see everything right before my eyes, i smell and sorta taste gasoline or some kind of smoke, i feel the pain of the accident, and lastly i see dead people. hahaha. no. but with all seriousness, it really happens.

that, OR.. i picture driving calmly and all of a sudden a drunk driver hits the side of my car, causing it to 360 spin off road and into someone, something, somewhere, or all of the above.

and it's symbolic and ironic too. but id rather not disclose why on the internet. pls refer to my journal when i die.

edit* ---

four accidents. i failed to mention my very first accident when a woman reversed into my front bumper on a new durham road next to pizza hut. i don't know if i'd count this one though, because i wasn't driving.