are you motherfuckin ADHD?!

wow, i should really be writing my essays right now.. but i just felt the urge to blog..

i'll make it real quick though (wishful thinking, ahem). hmm, i really need to clear my mind, because i have just had a MAJOR EPIPHANY.

all i want to know is ----------

well... why is it that when people talk excessively to me, i get pissed off. sometimes i'm like, "CUT TO THE FUCKIN CHASE." and it's not even their voice, tone, nor speed at which they're talking that pisses me off. it's when they just keep rambling on and on without making their point clear. i don't need the unnecessary details or at least let me get a hold of the conversation too? haha.

actually, NO! Fuck that. i'll expand my ideology by broadening my selection of people... to people who are just unclear in general when they talk... no matter how many words they use..

so with that said, this leaves us with two extremes: 1.) people who use too many words (there's a word to better describe this.. if you think of it, i'll give you 10 cool points..).. that's when i just stop listening and fail to grasp their point...... and 2.) people who limit their words which consequently are misinterpreted in an innumerable amount of ways... and that's when i just give up, because i don't get what the fuck they're trying to get across.. hmm, and i guess bad grammar could fall into this category too... because a POOR word choice in conjunction with a LIMITED word choice makes it inevitable for one to misconstrue your thoughts.

i don't know why i get so mad, but i feel it in my heart.. like my blood pressure increases.. and i just wanna say STFU.. im sleepy.. lol.. esp to those i love... probably because i'm more comfortable saying shit with no inhibition... (otherwise, im just quiet and do shit such as ... look out the window, look away, play with random objects, fall asleep, try to change the subject to something totally irrelevant.. just to name a few..).. and im sorry if i ever lashed out at anyone while they were talking.. i tend to do that a lot.. i'm kind of blunt with the "OMG, ARE YOU STILL TALKING!?".. why do you think i jump from topic to topic?! why do you think i like fast paced conversations?

but it's not like i don't try to listen.. .i try really hard.. there's just some kinda block there that dissuades me from giving you my 100% full undivided attention.. then i get headaches...ugh, and although i can be a fuckin selective ass listener... i always get the gist of what you're saying.. or at least what you're trying to say.... to be honest, a lot of you fall for my lack of listening skills more often than you think .. for example, most of you fail to notice that sometimes i only cling onto ONE of your many sentences and simply reply to it accordingly.. haha. well, in that case --- congrats... because what had just happened in actuality has officially become unbeknown to you... and *cliche alert!* ignorance is bliss *cliche alert!*. hahaha... (however, i find it funny when people DO catch me doing this.. like "you fag.. you weren't listening..i hate you..." i guess that's how i can distinguish who's smart among my friends.. haha...) but let me stress that this specific instance isn't something i do ALL the time.. it's actually quite obvious when it happens.. i only do it to those who are constantly oblivious to it..


.... but i've found a cure. hahahha.. and this is the first time i've ever felt like i could actually ... listen? ..question is.. is this for the better? is this "cure" so innocuous, that it should become something regular? i really don't know... and i wonder... does it adversely make ME one of those people who excessively talk and ramble?! should i hate myself now? lol. i mean *cliche alert!* you are you're own worst enemy *cliche alert!*. have i already gone through such a metamorphosis? why am i text messaging paragraph after paragraph... and why don't i feel the urge to satiate my need for attention.. for example, usually when im in a room full of people... i tend to do dumb shit to catch people's attention... for example. idk? breakdance in the middle the dancefloor... or say dumb shit... but right now i feel very low-key.. like i just wanna sit back and blend in....

haha.. it's crazy.... idk, is this good or bad?!!? although this cure makes me feel incredible, what i write should not all be looked at as some kind of panegyrical blog ... im seriously confused.. maybe even a bit scared...?

wow, to those who actually read this... it kinda reveals a lot about me... not to sound egocentric or whatnot.... because i'd love to know a lot about you too.. the feeling's reciprocated, mahnigguh... hahaha.. and.. i hope it answers a lot of questions about the idiosyncratic shit you put up with.... ;T .. because all this is definitely nothing i'd talk about in person.. unless you were like my bff or something (this blog is actually dedicated to one of them for being able to empathize with me through such experiences).. so i'd like to keep this all here...open to the public eye.. via internet.. secluded in this blogspot.com-microcosm-son-of-a-bitch..



BUT ON ANOTHER NOTE (a less personal note):

haha, i've decided to add what i typed in my aim profile.. because i typed it right after i blogged on this shit... lemme know what you think:



"RODNEY KING BABY
SAID I BEAT IT LIKE A COP." - weezy

lol, that line is so ignorant and horrible if you look into its context.
basically, it's like turning a family member's tragic death
into a sexual innuendo... like.. wow.. what the fuck..

and it's not even anything close to a fictional allusion... such as david beating up goliath.. or better yet something as playful as mario beating up bowser.... its FUCKIN HISTORY, NIGGUH.. and i know it's hard to find a "playful" yet sexual reference regarding cops.. but the line's so unecessary.. and WRONG!

haha... but hey, if that's what it takes to pander to your audience and make millions.. why not.. who am i to judge... rap music usually portrays anything BUT virtue. so beat it like a cop.. might as well include sean bell, i said i beat it like a cop...

in the words of chris rock: "it's hard to defend rap music nowadays."